JasonCarswell: Created page with "Based on the song by '''Barenaked Ladies''' - "''[https://www.YouTube.com/watch?v=aynCgnbbgbM If I Had A $1,000,000]''{{YT}}" [https://www.AZLyrics.com/lyrics/barenakedlad..."

2026-07-28T20:54:33Z

Created page with "Based on the song by '''Barenaked Ladies''' - "''[https://www.YouTube.com/watch?v=aynCgnbbgbM If I Had A $1,000,000]''{{YT}}" [https://www.AZLyrics.com/lyrics/barenakedlad..."

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Based on the song by '''[[Barenaked Ladies]]''' - "''[https://www.YouTube.com/watch?v=aynCgnbbgbM If I Had A $1,000,000]''{{YT}}" [https://www.AZLyrics.com/lyrics/barenakedladies/ifihada1000000.html lyrics].

Re-written by [[Jason Carswell]]:

: If I had a billion dollars,
:: If I had a billion dollars,
: I'd buy all your houses.
:: I would buy all your houses.
: If I had a billion dollars,
:: If I had a billion dollars,
: I'd kick you out of your houses.
:: Maybe let you pay overpriced rent.
: And if I had a billion dollars,
:: If I had a billion dollars,
: I'd sell you on universal basic income
:: with nice UBI propaganda
: If I had a billion dollars...
:: I'd buy your life.

: If I had a billion dollars,
:: I'd build a bunker under our mansion's yard.
: If I had a billion dollars,
:: I'd hire illegals, so it wouldn't be that hard.
: If I had a billion dollars,
:: Maybe we could put a ridiculously expensive fridge in there somewhere.

::: [''Talking:'']
::: We could just go down there and hang out.
::: Like open the fridge and stuff, and there'd be gourmet foods laid out for us.
::: With little prepared hors d'oeuvres and things. Mmmmm.
::: Invite rich folks over for adrenochrome parties, but not let the public know.
::: Well can you blame them?
::: Yeah!

: If I had a billion dollars,
:: If I had a billion dollars,
: I'd buy you a fur coat.
:: but an extinct fur coat, that's cruel.
: If I had a billion dollars,
:: If I had a billion dollars,
: I'd buy you an exotic zoo.
:: Or sports team or social media.
: If I had a billion dollars,
:: If I had a billion dollars,
: I'd buy you a seat in parliament.
:: One way or another we're sure to win.
: If I had a billion dollars...
:: I'd buy your life.

: If I had a billion dollars
:: We wouldn't have to suffer traffic.
: If I had a billion dollars
:: We'd take a private jet and cry climate change.
: If I had a billion dollars
:: We wouldn't have to eat fast food.
: But we would buy fast food franchises. Of course we would, we'd just buy more.
:: And buy really cheap toxic food to feed the masses.
: That's right, for all the fanciest cancers. Mmmmmm.

: If I had a billion dollars,
:: If I had a billion dollars,
: I'd buy you a private island.
:: but not without child servants, that's cruel.
: If I had a billion dollars,
:: If I had a billion dollars,
: I'd buy you some weapons
:: for conflicts in Ukraine or Israel.
: If I had a billion dollars,
:: If I had a billion dollars,
: I'd buy you a prime minister
:: haven't you always wanted a monkey?
: If I had a billion dollars...
:: I'd buy your life.

: If I had a billion dollars, if I had a billion dollars.
: If I had a billion dollars, if I had a billion dollars...
: I'd be a bitch.

[[Category: Barenaked Ladies]]
[[Category: Controligarchy]]
[[Category: Corruption]]
[[Category: Government]]
[[Category: If I Had A Billion Dollars]]
[[Category: If I Had A Million Dollars]]
[[Category: Lyrics]]
[[Category: Music]]
[[Category: Parody]]
[[Category: Privacy]]
[[Category: Resistance]]
[[Category: Rewritten songs]]
[[Category: Re-written songs]]
[[Category: Satire]]
[[Category: Security]]
[[Category: Songs]]
[[Category: Surveillance]]
[[Category: Surveillance state]]
[[Category: Tyranny]]

If I Had A Billion Dollars - Revision history

JasonCarswell: Created page with "Based on the song by '''Barenaked Ladies''' - "''[https://www.YouTube.com/watch?v=aynCgnbbgbM If I Had A $1,000,000]''{{YT}}" [https://www.AZLyrics.com/lyrics/barenakedlad..."